The Heartbreak of Hope

Pajama Monster started Depakote on Sunday. We increased to 2 pills last night, which will probably be the final dosage. We do the blood test next Thursday or Friday to see if the levels are right. Today has been a great day. He soaked several cloths in his room with urine before I came to get him out of bed this morning, and he's had a couple very brief time outs for things like throwing things in the trash when he knew not to, but that's it so far. Other than that he's played in the yard and had lunch and gone for a "milk treat" at Starbucks, and played at the park, then ridden bikes with his sister. It's very very rare for Pajama Monster to have a day like this, and so I hope. I try not to, because I hope on every good day, and with every new med, and every new therapy or program. I hope and pray and then the next swing hits, and we're right back where we were, and I hurt. I'm trying not to hope this time. It's never brought anything but more pain, but I look into his smile and I can't help but hope, once more, that this time will be different.