I should probably start by saying that I realize my husband is equally impacted. For a long time he talked about wishing he could stay at work because dealing with Pajama Monster can be so horrible, and quite honestly after a day of Pajama Monster I'm not always the happy and encouraging wife I'd like to be.
I went into motherhood expecting some stretch marks, etc, but I thought that the majority of the impact would be from the pregnancy and possibly the delivery. I've found that for every year Pajama Monster ages I seem to age 5. When I gave birth at 29 I could have passed for 23 pretty easily. Now I look older than I am. My hair is thinner. I'm exhausted all the time. My face looks thinner and older. To cap it off, I've been having dizzy spells so often that I've ceased to even note them. I'm pretty sure the dizzy spells are coming from neck tension and stress, but that doesn't make them any more fun. I realize that at 34 I was bound to start showing my age, and self care certainly tends to fall by the wayside when you have little ones, but this feels far in excess of what I'd expected. I think it's just that with stress, worry, and depression, my constant enterage, I'm bound to be in worse health. I'm not depressed by nature. It's just hard to see the bright side when you're scrubbing poo out of a stinking carpet for the 6th time that week while your husband holds your son in a restraint to keep him from smearing the poo on you and Daddy.
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